Aizen's Diary
by incandescens
Summary: Recruiting Others through Guile and Intelligence. Not particularly serious.


**Aizen's Diary (Recruiting Others through Guile and Intelligence)**

Attempted to lure Soi Fong into my conspiracy today. Described benefits of joining; world peace, intelligent leadership, Shihouin Yoruichi in chains at her feet. Am shocked and appalled at the fact that she preferred the idea of being in chains at Shihouin Yoruichi's feet. What does this say about the moral fibre of today's Captains? Made excuses and left while she was getting into sordid details.

* * *

Fortunately Gin is faithful and reliable. When I explained to him that I wanted to take over Soul Society and sit in God's place, he enquired cheerfully when he could start plotting to usurp me. I am proud of the boy. I trained him well.

We will have a little discussion tonight about why he is _not_ going to usurp me in the near future. Note to self: bring educational tools.

* * *

After careful study of Unohana Retsu, have decided that not only does she have no desires to which I can appeal, but she is fully in control of her Division and far too observant for my convenience. Not only will I not involve her in the conspiracy, I shall avoid her at all costs and hope that she stays out of matters.

She also insisted on my attending a routine checkup and having allergy shots.

Not that I hold a grudge or anything.

* * *

Kuchiki Byakuya has proven to be a particularly difficult case. Attempts to lure him to my side with offers of power, physical pleasures, and aristocratic rule have all failed on the grounds that he already _has_ access to all of those. (Note to self: store recorded evidence in case I need to persuade republican types in the future with proof of aristocratic excesses, etc.) Even more irritating that, with access to physical pleasures, he refuses to indulge in them. How am I supposed to work with these materials? Is it too much to ask for a few orgies, some decadence, a bit of impropriety in the family dungeon?

Must try to find a good reason for him to commit suicide.

* * *

For a long time I have been pondering a way to lure Komamura Sajin to my side. He cannot be tempted by riches, fame, or power.

However, recent exposure to one of the "television programmes" produced by the living world has given me an insight into his personality, and I believe I have the perfect method.

I await Gin's return with some of those "Scooby Snacks".

* * *

Spent the evening drinking with Kyouraku Shunsui while seeking the keys to his character which would give me mastery over him and allow me to bend him to my will. Used my tact and wit to lead the conversation towards his secret desires.

Learned that he does not have any _secret_ desires.

Am not quite sure how I ended up where I did but do not intend to tell anyone about it. Even Ichimaru Gin.

Note to self: wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging, Kyouraku Shunsui is a lecherous octopus.

* * *

At last! Resounding success. Found it the easiest thing in the world to coax Tousen Kaname into allying himself with me and submitting himself to my guidance. He will obey me in all things in return for my promises to ensure true justice, promote path of least blood, etc . . .

Wait. This is too easy. Something must be wrong.

Clearly I have two choices. Must either test his loyalty via dubious yet strangely enjoyable practices, or must research his motivations further in order to be sure of his reliability.

My course is clear.

(Invite Ichimaru to assist.)

* * *

This goes too far. I absolutely draw the line at attempting to corrupt the youth of today. I cannot bring myself to lure a pure, innocent, upright child like Hitsugaya Toushirou into my current plans, no matter how useful his power might be, and no matter how much I would like to ruffle his cute little hair and pat his cute little head and give him lollipops.

Sadly, attempts to bribe him with watermelon have failed. (And I took such care to ask my (concubine) Vice-Captain what he liked, too.)

My esteem for his youthful purity is far too high for me to attempt to (brainwash) gently bend him. Alas, innocence, first of the casualties of war.

(Note to self: little bastard bit my finger. He will suffer.)

* * *

Remarkably easy to assess Zaraki Kenpachi's interests: killing, killing, and more killing. The only problem with enlisting him in my cause is that he would then view me as a, what was that term of Gin's, alpha male, and Zaraki's documented response to other alpha males . . .

. . . I believe I will use him as a distraction and set him on my enemies. Much safer than trying to enlist him. Yes. Much safer.

* * *

My natural distrust of Kurotsuchi Mayuri has been reinforced by his habit of attempting to corner me in dark alleys and persuade me to come round to his private laboratory for "a few quiet experiments". The inducements offered have ranged from the biological to the unspeakable. Clearly he has some dire secret plot in motion, possibly involving all those laboratory records titled **QUINCY** which he endeavours to hide in the fifth shelf of the right cellar in the seventh sub-basement of his Division.

If only Urahara were still here. I'd have _enjoyed_ outplaying him.

As it is, have politely declined all offers; only room for one contender to godhood here, and I suspect that Kurotsuchi might have ambitions of his own.

(Note to self: send Gin round instead?)

* * *

Have attempted to lure Ukitake Jyushirou with promise of cure for illness, but he was too honourable to take it.

Have attempted to lure him with promise of resurrection of dead vice-captain, but to be frank, was not quite sure how to manage it, so said lure may have lacked something. (Note to self: be less enthusiastic about killing off other people's vice-captains in the future.)

Have attempted to lure him with promise of unspeakable sensual delights, but had forgotten his relationship with Kyouraku Shunsui.

Ended up dosing his wine with opium and telling him next morning that he must have had a bad night and hallucinated it all.

Wonder if I would look more elegant with white hair.

* * *

On consideration, really didn't want that many allies anyway. Power goes further if shared between fewer people.

(Note to self: they will all suffer. Suffer horribly.)

Will rewrite this later when supreme ruler of universe. Keeping a diary is a wholesome, healthy pastime. Later revision of diary even more so.


End file.
